Ask Amy: Partner ignored by family wonders why
As passive and patient as you have been, this might be the moment for you to consult your sundial and say, “time’s up.”
Dear Amy: My older brother is getting married this summer, his second marriage. He practices a very conservative Christian belief and told me that because I am a gay man I am a sinner and will go to hell in the afterlife.
His children told me that they pray for my salvation.
For my entire youth he abused and tortured me physically, emotionally, and sexually.
We are both in our 60s now and for most of our lives have had very little contact.
I don't want to go to his wedding, however, my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me to go.
The thought of going to the wedding makes me anxious and angry.
I don't want to see him or his family, but I feel guilty not supporting my mother. What should I do?
– Confused Brother
Dear Confused: Do not give in to your mother’s pressure. Understand with compassion that she may be hoping to heal the rift between you and your brother, but, unless she has also urged your brother to atone for his behavior and ask for forgiveness, any contact should be up to you.
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