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Ask Amy: Partner ignored by family wonders why

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Am I wrong for wanting to be accepted by his family?

And if not, then to at least be given a reason as to why I'm not accepted?

– Left Out Woman

Dear Left Out: You aren’t wrong to want acceptance from your partner’s family – or anyone.

However – you and your “fiancé” (to use your quote-marks) are extremely passive in your response to it.

Your 11-year engagement might be a clue that you two are extremely similar when it comes to your passivity (and patience).

 

Being similar does not mean you are well-matched, however.

“Give him time” is an elastic concept to your man. Glaciers have melted faster than he seems to move.

This problem should call up larger questions for you: If this man has been rude to you for over a decade, why haven’t you called him on it? And why hasn’t your guy?

Also – would you spend part of every weekend hanging out with someone who was mean to the person you loved – even if your hang-buddy was your parent?

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