Ask Amy: Husband worries about in-law’s largesse
I can imagine that this makes your wife feel quite conflicted and sad, but if you two can agree as a couple on a specific and consistent response to this, she will feel empowered, and you will be able to keep your cool.
A relationship counselor could help you two to agree on basic parameters.
Dear Amy: I have a friend whom I've known for decades.
My friend has a 16-year-old child who is shy, quiet and smart, but who can't get a word in edgewise when we three are together.
Is there a way to suggest to the parent that this friend takes all the air out of the room?
It might help the child to be able to say what they want, but I don't want to lose a friend.
How should I approach this?
– Attentive Friend
Dear Attentive: Speaking for a child is a habit that many parents have; for some, this may start when their child is very young, quiet or shy. The parent jumps in to relieve the child of the pressure to speak. Once the parent does this, it’s hard to stop.
(How do I know this? Because I did it!)
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