Life Advice



Ask Amy: Biological father and son can’t seem to talk

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Recently, my biological father emailed me to say he’d like to get to know me. We’ve never met. He is 81, I am 64.

He had long denied that I’m his son, and until recently had been very hostile to any attempt on my part to be in touch.

Decades ago, I did some research on him and decided that I knew enough and moved on.

He was a successful businessman and is the patriarch of a large family.

I am also successful in my work and happy with life and my large family.

I have politely responded to his emails, but I have decided that I am not interested in an email relationship with a near-complete stranger, whom I don’t know and have zero affinity with.


I have offered, however, to meet him in person. (He lives in another state).

He responded by saying it would be a waste of my time and money if I have no desire to develop a relationship with him.

I consider the travel cost to be a very minor expense. He dismisses my feelings regarding meeting in person, versus corresponding.

My sense is that this ship sailed decades ago, and I’d prefer to move on.


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