Ask Amy: Friends don’t let friends snoop into finances
Dear Betrayed: Opening mail addressed to someone else (without their permission) is a serious offense and accusing them of this would be a serious accusation.
One way to avoid making a direct accusation would be to say, “We are worried that some of our mail might have been tampered with or opened while we were away. Did you notice anything unusual about it when you were bringing it into the house?”
Regardless of their guilt or innocence, your trust in these friends has obviously eroded. You should lock down your financial information. Decline paper copies of your investment statements and use an online-only system.
Notify each provider that paper statements might have been seen, and ask what additional security steps you might need to take.
In the future, have your mail held at the post office when you go away. You don’t need to explain this choice at all. Anyone could take or tamper with your mail if they are aware that you are away.
If this couple is so bold as to bring up your specific financial situation, you should call them on it: “We don’t discuss our finances and wish you weren’t so curious about this.”
Dear Amy: My birthday falls on or near Thanksgiving every year.
For other family birthdays, my relatives insist on making the day special for the celebrant – they get to pick a family outing or the menu for the birthday party.
For mine, my "party" is a candle on my dessert at Thanksgiving dinner, even in years when there are a few days between my birthday and the holiday.
I have a milestone birthday coming up, and I'd like to do something special.
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