Ask Amy: Not-quite-divorced couple enjoys ‘meeting up’
Imagine, if you are able, how this scenario would play out if your teenage children exhibited your poor judgment and deliberately hurtful choices.
You: “Son, why are you fathering a child while you are still in high school?”
Son: “Um, I just don’t know how to say no, I suppose.”
You: “Daughter, why are you sneaking around and lying to us?”
Daughter: “I wasn’t really doing anything wrong (if you know what I mean). And besides, I didn’t want to devastate you with the truth.”
So, my best advice for you would be to: Knock it off. Stop.
The way you describe your own situation reveals much room for improvement when it comes to relationships (normally, people sugar-coat their own narrative).
Perhaps you and “Dan” are drawn to one another because you share this vacuum-space where your mutual impulses are like a narcissistic black hole, swallowing up all the other people in your lives.
Stop sleeping with your ex. Get a divorce (yes, you can afford it).
Do not entangle your children into an emotional relationship with another partner of yours until you choose to live completely honestly. Even if you have a high tolerance for nonsense, your kids deserve some stability.
...continued
