Ask Amy: Couple can’t cope with feelings of guilt
Your guy has transformed his own guilt into feeling sorry for himself and then blaming you for his behavior. That’s what toddlers do.
He needs treatment, counseling, and to make some big decisions about perhaps conducting his life differently. Anyone who has time to wallow and cry in his cups but can’t seem to “fit in” therapy obviously needs to re-adjust his priorities.
The next time he gets drunk and blames you for “stealing him from his wife,” I suggest that you offer to return him to her.
Dear Amy: After years of encouraging my (adopted) son to find his biological parents so that he'd have a medical history, he has found them and I am finding it all so awkward and uncomfortable.
I'm feeling so insecure. He keeps telling me very lovingly, "You're my mom, and nothing's changed” but, it has.
His maternal biological family lives in another country.
We've been emailing with them.
His biological dad is here. My son looks like him. They share a lot interests and I find myself receding into the background.
Thoughts?
– “You’re My Mom”
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