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Ask Amy: Family members are conflicted about compassion

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Their niece, who lives here in the North, is getting married a week before Christmas.

My sister told me that she would come up for the wedding or Christmas but not both because she didn't want to stay a full eight days with us.

Am I being too sensitive and demanding in wanting them to stay for both?

My other children really want to spend Christmas with their aunt and uncle and have been looking forward to having them here for Christmas for more than a year.

Should I just lower my expectations and assume that I will never see them here for any holidays?

– Sad and Disappointed

 

Dear Disappointed: Yes, you should lower your expectations. Your sister is giving you the benefit of total honesty regarding her capabilities.

Some people don’t like to fly and doing so causes them weeks of anxiety.

Others don’t like to be away from their home during big holidays.

Your sister might be facing pressure from your parents to be nearby.

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