Life Advice



Ask Amy: Online celebrations bring on real-life challenges

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Curmudgeon: First, a comment about “super-showers.” I’ve only attended one of these, held in a hotel ballroom. Guests left their (unwrapped) gift on a banquet table and picked up their pre-printed thank you card on the way out.

This was a far cry from my only other experiences: A few women gathered in someone’s living room — eating cake, and “oohing and ahhing” – over what felt like a joyful and intimate initiation.

A Zoom super-shower should involve thoughtful planning and implementation. There should be one or two hosts who run or “emcee” the party. Guests should be notified of parameters beforehand. They could be asked to post their own baby pictures as avatars, share a piece of mothering advice, or be asked to hold up a picture of their favorite item from their own (or their kids’) babyhood.

The mom-to-be could be prompted to do an on-camera Q&A where she asks guests her most burning questions. The host unmutes those who want to answer; guests should also use the “chat” function to communicate.

The guest-of-honor’s relatives should be introduced and prompted to speak.

The event should end with a group “toast” (unmuted) to the honored parents.


No, a Zoom super-shower should NOT feel like a Friday night on QVC. Guests should NOT be prompted during the shower to send gifts.

The host could send out a “thank you” email the following day, but every single guest should also be personally and specifically thanked afterward, by postal mail, with their specific gift acknowledged.

Dear Amy: A friend moved up her wedding date, because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

She and her fiancé held their wedding ceremony with only a few people in attendance.


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