Ask Amy: Siblings can love (but not like) each other
Dear Amy: After becoming a born-again Christian, my brother seemed to feel it was his responsibility to be my moral compass. He critiques my faith, my life and my family. He's a far-right conservative and never fails to weigh in on any liberal post I make in social media, apparently feeling it necessary to correct my wrong-headedness. He even commented that his son's liberal opinions weren't valid. For most of this I just roll my eyes and ignore him.
He has now chosen to voice his disapproval of my daughter. Why? Because she, with a successful career and beautiful family, is gay. He stated that while he loves my child, he can't condone her lifestyle.
As for my relationship with my brother, I'm not sure I want to get over this hurdle. I love him, I just don't like him much right now, and I'm not sure that it's worth maintaining a relationship when he keeps thumping me with his superiority and his Bible.
— Seething Sister
Dear Seething: Your brother has answered this for you: You can continue to love him, while not condoning HIS lifestyle.
I gather that the majority of these connections happen over Facebook. The day you disengage from him, your blood pressure will return to normal. Look into how to hide, unfollow, and block before actually “unfriending” him. You can start by exploring the “snooze” function.
Dear Amy: I have a dozen grandchildren. Since the first was born 14 years ago, all my grandkids have used a particular grandmother title, “Gee,” for me. I chose it because it's easy, and because it doesn't confuse me with other grandparents and great-grandparents, many of whom are still alive.
One of my daughters lives overseas. She has two children (ages 2 and 4) Their European grandmother is local and sees the children all the time.
Lately, via Zoom, my daughter has been referring to me as a mash-up of both grandmother names. To her children, she refers to me as “Nanny-Gee.” But that's not my name.
If this was an issue with any of my other children, I'd address it calmly and directly. This particular daughter, though, is provocative, argues unnecessarily, and institutes estrangement fairly frequently. I'm unwilling to rock her boat without good reason.
...continued
