Ask Amy: Sibling relationship affected by loan request
— Sad Sister
Dear Sad: The thing about debt is this: It leads to shame, embarrassment, dislocation, and estrangement.
Being in debt is a spiritual, emotional, financial and relational anvil, tied around the ankle and weighing a person down.
I assure you, if you had loaned your brother $30,000, you would never see the money again and your brother would never again pick up the phone. Fortunately, you have not become part of his debt problem.
As it is, he still picks up the phone when you call. So, keep calling.
He may have a major problem that interferes with his ability to reach out to you. All you owe him is to do your part, which is to like and love him as well as you can. And all he owes you is to pick up the phone.
Dear Amy: My daughter’s boyfriend of seven years regularly cancels his plans to join us for an event at the last minute.
They have lived together for over five years and he is well liked by family members. He has not shown up for casual pizza parties, has bailed on attending entertainment shows, which my daughter has paid for, and dropped out of helping us move furniture, causing me to scramble and find someone else.
Last Christmas, he showed up, brought in presents from their car, then sat in the car insisting my daughter drive him home.
On Thanksgiving, he called at the time we were going to eat to say he wasn't coming. The reasons for these many events? Migraines, upset stomach, colds, etc. He occasionally apologizes.
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