Ask Amy: Cheating boyfriend claims he was hacked
Some people who are unfaithful are able to own, apologize for, and rectify their mistake with their partners. Building back trust takes time and tremendous effort, but it can happen.
However, from your description, your guy sounds like a serial cheater with an aptitude for drama.
You acted on your suspicions. Unfortunately, all of your fears seem to have been justified via your contact with other women (you could open a detective agency, by the way).
The “my computer was hacked” excuse is just a modern version of “the dog ate my homework.” Yes, it is possible that a dog once ate a child’s homework, and that your boyfriend’s computer was in fact hacked, but it is extremely unlikely.
My insight is that someone who has “plenty of enemies from his past” has likely earned his reputation the old-fashioned way: by lying, cheating, and gaslighting his way through relationships.
This is where you have to trust yourself, your judgment, and your instincts. None of his behavior is your fault, but if you choose to override your own judgment, then that’s on you.
Dear Amy: After Thanksgiving dinner with my husband and three adult children (and significant others), I'm wondering what is the protocol for clean-up duty?
The children brought food, but as I stood in the kitchen filling the dishwasher and putting away food as everyone sat and talked, I asked myself, where did I go wrong?
I never would have sat and watched my mother in this situation.
My husband has never offered to help me in the kitchen and rarely thanks me for meals, but I thought I had taught my children better.
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