Ask Amy: Reconciled couple struggles in new relationship
I do not believe I ever agreed to let her know before I got remarried. But even if I did, her response seems like it was intended to hurt me.
— Confused
Dear Confused: I can’t speak to your ex-wife’s intentions, but to me it seems that she is more focused on expressing her own wounded feelings, versus trying to hurt you.
You could definitely retaliate and defend yourself against her accusation. But if that is your instinct, I think you should suppress it and simply let her statement stand, respecting her choice not to be in touch.
However, you might feel better about this episode (and your own behavior) if you replied to her: calmly, kindly, and honestly. You might text her, “I am genuinely sorry and sad about your reaction to the news of my wedding. You are an important part of my history and my life, and I had hoped to stay friends.”
Dear Amy: “Faithful” presented a chilling account of the ways her boyfriend is constantly suspicious and surveilling her.
I was relieved that you picked up on how creepy this was and urged her to leave the relationship.
— Been There
Dear Been There: A person’s narrative often reveals context that they don’t seem to see. This is one reason telling your own story is so important.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2020 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
