Ask Amy: Reconciled couple struggles in new relationship
These are all questions to take to a counselor. Start as soon as you can, while your insights and desire to change are still fresh.
Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com) offers a helpful database of therapists, organized by specialties and geographical location, although location is no longer a deal breaker, because so many therapists will work with clients remotely.
For some insight into how one therapist works, I highly recommend the documentary series, “Couples Therapy,” currently streaming on Amazon Prime.
Dear Amy: My former wife and I were married for almost 30 years.
Eight years ago, she informed me that she wanted to change careers and move to a different part of the country. For many different reasons, I chose not to follow her on her new path, and we went through an amicable divorce. My ex and I have had few but always cordial contact via telephone and text message. We have no children, and there was never any expectation that we would reconcile.
Six years ago, I developed a relationship with another woman. I told her about my new relationship, and she seemed happy for me.
Three months ago, my new wife and I got married.
A week or two after my wedding, I texted my ex to let her know.
Her reply was curt and painful. It was along the lines of, "I thought we had an agreement that you would tell me before you got married. I don't think there's any reason for us to have any future communications."
I don't know how to deal with this brush-off, or whether I should even try.
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