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Ask Amy: Grouchy gramps derails airport run

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I feel co-opted if I keep silent. However, I do not know how to respond without getting into futile arguments. She seems absolutely resolved to maintain these fictions.

Can you help me figure out what to do?

— It’s a Friendship, not a Resume

Dear Friendship: If your friend’s constant dissembling makes you feel like a stooge, then tell her. You should absolutely correct the record if her story involves you, directly.

Understand, however, that some people exaggerate to the extent that they actually hold onto a different truth. They create a story in order to be more entertaining, memorable, and to feed a needy ego.

True friends are both tolerant and truthful regarding behavior that has a direct impact on them. During a reflective moment, you could tell her, “We often remember the same event very differently. I’d like to remind you that I think you are enough, just as you are.”

Dear Amy: I have a reassuring comment for the person signing her letter, “Never Write Anything You Wouldn’t Want Published.” She had written some steamy love letters to her ex, and now wanted them back.

 

I am handling my deceased ex-partner’s estate, and anyone who does this has no time to read old love letters. These letters will be given a glance, but unless you are a famous person, they won’t be read, but simply shredded. (I have just shredded 24 boxes of papers.)

She should also consider that since her lover was never married, maybe she was the love of his life. Maybe at the end of his life, he is re-reading these letters, dreaming of her.

— Exhausted

Dear Exhausted: This is a huge job to assume, on behalf of an ex. Good for you.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)


 

 

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