ArcaMax

It is important and useful to be as honest as possible with your teen daughters regarding your own mistakes, failings, and frailties, but – when it comes to parenting, “Do as we say, not as we do” has a very limited utility.

If you and/or your husband are struggling with an addiction, it is vital that your daughters receive responsible information and support. Introduce them to a “friends and family” peer support group, like Alateen (Al-anon.org).

I think it is also important that you seek professional help on your own. The message should be, “I’ve sought help for my problems; I’m working my program, and it is helping.” Do not hide or stigmatize the role of therapy or support groups; these are lifelines.

In addition to all of this talking, it is also vital that you listen. Your daughters need to know that they can be honest with you and that you will listen with compassion and do your best to support them when they need it.

Dear Amy: My loving husband of 45 years died unexpectedly three years ago. He was the most loving, caring person I have ever met. I had a young daughter from a prior marriage when we met. He adopted my daughter and treated her and the son we had together beautifully.

My husband was 71 when he died. I haven't been able to get on with my life. People tell me he wouldn't want me to not move on with my life, but HE was my life. He was my best friend – he was everything to me.

I regularly cry myself to sleep.

What am I to do now? My mom helped me the most, but she and Daddy were married for 63 years until she died last year.

The women in our family live long lives.

I do pray all the time, and it has helped, but I need to do something else.

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