Ask Amy: Parents wonder how to get teens to pitch in
I wish I could trust him again, but I'm still paranoid about who he's texting and where he's going. I don't know what to do.
Paranoid
Dear Paranoid: You seem to be working hard to regain the sense of trust in your relationship.
What is your boyfriend doing to earn this trust?
He should be completely transparent about all of his activities that give you anxiety. This means volunteering to show you his phone if you want to see it, and reassuring you about where he is and who he is with. He needs to be extremely gentle and patient with you as you both pick at this wound. He should agree to accompany you to see a couples counselor.
Yes, in order to move forward in your relationship, you should work toward forgiveness, but it is not necessary for you to forget that this happened.
Dear Amy: “Untexted in Texas” wrote to you about her husband’s choice to text throughout the day with a woman he knew in high school.
Would you call it an “emotional affair” if he was texting with a man? I suspect not.
Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: If a man texted back and forth, dozens of times a day with another man, refusing to discuss and excluding his wife from any knowledge of the content or context – then yes, I might call it an emotional affair.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
