Ask Amy: Online pity parties don’t elicit hugs
Give your partner the same opportunity. Tell her that you find this rapid-fire verbal tic annoying (surely, others do, too), and challenge her to try to change.
Nothing helps us notice things about ourselves as well as viewing, or listening, to a recording. Ask her, “Hey, I double-dog challenge you not to use ‘you know’ any time for 10 minutes. Can I record you?” She will take up the challenge (because she doesn’t believe she does this so often).
Engage in normal conversation. Do not interrupt or prompt her at all. Afterward, send her a sound file, without comment, and let her hear what you’ve been hearing.
Dear Amy: Thank you for printing the letter from “Survivor of Family Intervention” who modified her behavior after her children complained about her political rants on social media.
My stereotype of a person who rants on social media is someone who just wants to reinforce their own opinions without looking at facts or caring what others think. I love having my expectations challenged.
Challenged
Dear Challenged: It’s fun to bust up a stereotype.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
