ArcaMax

Given that he seems to forget what he has said and done, he is quite conveniently also absent from acknowledging and accepting the consequences of his actions.

Detachment is the art of lovingly letting go. Detachment will help you to cope.

Read "Let Go Now: Embrace Detachment as a Path to Freedom," by Karen Casey (2019, Conari Press). This is a book of meditations, lessons and anecdotes, (mainly with a Christian focus), that could help you to reflect on changes you can make - in your own life - to detach from your husband's drinking.

Wisdom I've returned to often in my own life is delivered by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, in her practical, wise (and funny) lectures on detachment: "Don't Bite the Hook: Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and other Destructive Emotions" (2007, Shambhala).

Al-Anon is the 12-step change agent for countless concerned "friends and family" of alcoholics. During the pandemic, the organization is hosting "electronic meetings" to substitute for physical meetings. Check al-anon.org.

I hope you notice that all of this information is pointed toward YOU.

Clarity on where you stand - in your own life -- will help you to discern what you should do next.

Dear Amy: My husband and I are expecting our first child - a daughter. We are over the moon and have begun planning baby names. Right now, my heart and soul are stuck on the classically beautiful name "Juliette."

I have a deceased aunt named Julie, who has left behind two daughters. We're not very close, but catch up occasionally. I am sure some family might assume the name Juliette would be in honor of my aunt Julie, but truth be told, I just really love that name and I see them as different names (albeit my future daughter could choose to go by Julie if she wanted).

I would feel terrible if this hurt my cousins in any way or made them feel they couldn't name their potential future daughters Julie, but I could see myself getting into a bind if I ask their permission and they say no.

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