Ask Amy: Canine custody keeps former spouses in doghouse
You should take a careful look at this dynamic and ask yourself if it is actually good for you to be with someone who doesn't seem to have finished the emotional work of his marriage.
Dear Amy: How should I personally deal with a boss whose disorganization and lack of will to get more organized is causing me stress and annoyance?
My field of work requires a certain level of OCD when it comes to organization.
This assignment is a short-term gig (two months), but I need to find a way to correct, get over, or accept the disorganization, in order to increase my quality of life and sanity on the job.
-- Annoyed by Chaos
Dear Annoyed: Unless you were hired expressly for the purpose of organizing your boss's life and business, then you will have to tolerate the current challenges you've been handed.
In short, do your job to the best of your ability. Achieve the goal for which you were contracted. No, you don't need to correct your boss's disorganization.
Your job does not exist to serve you, in order to "increase the quality of your life." Your stress and annoyance are of lesser consequence in this context.
In order for you to feel better about this situation, you will have to remind yourself, each day, that you are not there to fix the world. You are there to do a specific job.
It might help for you to approach this challenge as if it has landed in your life to teach you something. What can you learn from this? One thing is that you cannot always control your surroundings -- or the way other people move through the world. Another lesson is that you might have to specifically choose assignments and workplaces where your organizational skills will be a valued asset, in order to decrease your own stress, and also to serve the organization.
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