Ask Amy: Job Seeker is frustrated by follow-up
Should I try to talk to her about this? Is it OK to just walk away from her because of this?
Should I be going about this differently?
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Your duty is to take care of yourself, and you seem to have done an admirable job.
Loyal friends will quite naturally not want to maintain a close friendship with an individual who has abused a friend.
Of course, it is possible that the man who abused you has cleaned up his act and changed in a dramatic way, but you should not risk your own well-being by testing this possibility.
You are wise to keep your distance from the person who abused you, as well as anyone else who is connected to him. You don't need to spend your own valuable emotional bandwidth trying to assess this situation from every angle -- you need only to protect yourself, and -- in this case, the best way to protect yourself is to keep your distance.
Dear Amy: "A Very Concerned Son" became alarmed when his mother kept repeating herself during a phone call. Slurred speech and repeating yourself can be signs of severe dehydration. My mother's doctor told me I had helped to save her life by noticing her slurred speech during a phone call.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: Sometimes, these changes are more evident when speaking over the phone. I've heard from several readers with similar stories.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
