Ask Amy: Celibacy causes partner's esteem to plummet
I don't relish poking holes in your happiness, but ... Jack lets you assume that he would prefer his ex. He frames his marriage as having ended out of the blue. He won't have sex with you, and won't discuss it with you.
Has it occurred to you that this behavior might have contributed to his wife's choice to leave?
Libido does drop for some people as they age, but it hasn't dropped for you and no -- I do not think it is the norm for people in this age group to be celibate. There is nothing wrong with choosing celibacy or living a celibate life. But you didn't choose it. He did.
True intimacy entails being courageous enough to let yourself be loved through your weakest, weirdest, or more challenging moments. Intimacy starts with talking, disclosing, listening and responding honestly.
If your relationship was in the right place, your self-esteem would not take such hits. You have the right to ask questions and engage in honest conversations. If your guy can't (or won't) engage with you in this way, then you'll have a tough choice to make.
Dear Amy: I've been in a bridge club for over 10 years (12 members). We get together about once a month.
Prior to the last couple of years, the host provided dinner and drinks. It was great! You had a night off and enjoyed someone else's hospitality and cooking.
When it was your turn to host, you repaid the favor.
In the last few years, this has become more of a "potluck" evening. The problem is -- the same few people seem to be bringing the pots! I often bring an enticing, creative dish, only to have someone else bring a bottle of sparkling water or nothing.
Is there a way to even the workload among us, without pointing fingers and hurting feelings?
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