Ask Amy: Abuse survivor is afraid to tell parents
-- Old Wounds
Dear Old Wounds: No, I don't think you should keep this a secret. You should work this through with your therapist's help. You might ask your parents to meet with you in your therapist's office so you will have guided coaching to handle your disclosure.
As a parent, I can tell you that a child's pain cuts a parent very, very deep. Your parents might not immediately react in any expected or anticipated way.
Yes, they might feel heartbroken, confused, and guilty. They may lash out -- or try to deny this episode or diminish its impact on you.
They might need time to figure out how to be appropriately supportive. But you should give them the opportunity to love you through this. This will be a challenging process for all of you, but it is one you should initiate -- when you are ready.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been divorced for over 15 years and see each frequently at our family gatherings. Neither of us has a significant other.
Our youngest daughter eloped in November and wants to have a reception this summer. My ex-husband is very financially stable and owns his home, vehicles, and a boat.
I (on the other hand) live paycheck to paycheck. I just started collecting Social Security and still struggle.
He told me he would pay $5,000 for the reception if I paid $1,000.
I cannot afford to pay anything toward this wedding and told him so. What do you suggest?
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