ArcaMax

That having been said, when the children are with you, you are (in effect) "in loco parentis" -- in place of the parent. This means that you should use your own best judgment, without directly or deliberately undermining the parents.

I diagnose this NOT as a discipline issue with the parents of a 5-year-old, but as a tattle issue with an older sibling.

You should very gently remind this older brother, "OK, Mr. Tattle McTattlemuch, when you guys are with me, I'm in charge of treats and punishments. And because we are a team, if one of us doesn't get treats, then none of us get treats.

So, until your parents say so, we're not going to have our daily ice cream scoop. But we'll have other sorts of good things. Have you ever eaten fruit kabobs off of a skewer and dipped in yogurt? It's really good. But the deal is that you don't get to remind me about your brother's punishment. Because we're a team here ... and I'm the coach."

Then you look your little dudes straight in the eyes and ask, "Who is the coach? I can't hear you..." etc., until they both get the message that Coach Grammy is in charge.

Dear Amy: I am an employer seeking to hire a new employee.

I have been very disappointed when applicants confirm an interview and are then no-shows.

Sometimes they respond that they were in a car accident, a child is in the hospital, or that an accident on the highway prevented them from arriving.

Then they ask to re-schedule.

Other times, they don't show up, and there is no communication at all.

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