Ask Amy: Son's new baby is a poorly kept secret
How should I tell him that I know?
-- Anonymous Gran
Dear Gran: You could send your son the text of this question, which seems to outline exactly how you feel, with a note in the margin: "FYI."
I assume you plan to follow up and make contact with this child's mother. I hope you do. This is a no-brainer. There is no need for you to try to explain your son's behavior to the mother of the child -- or discuss this further with your son until you are ready. You are both adults and you both have the right to engage in whatever relationships you want. He may eventually acknowledge the child and come around in some minimal ways, but, as the son of a father who abandoned him and disappeared from his own life, he might not ever step up.
You should assume that if you choose to acknowledge this child, your relationship with your son will be affected, but that is up to him.
Dear Amy: My wife and I have a 3-year-old son.
My wife's 17-year-old sister "Tessa" is currently living with us.
One day my teenage sister-in-law was tasked to watch our son, because we had an all-day personal appointment.
However, we finished our appointment by 1 p.m., and upon arriving home we were shocked to find that Tessa had invited four of her high school friends over, when she was watching our 3-year-old son.
I have no issues with her friends being over, yet the fact that she didn't ask (or inform) us has me very concerned.
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