ArcaMax

This request was a major one on your in-laws' part. Even though it seems that you and your husband did agree to babysit, you could have handled it differently by offering a truthful and respectful response: "Oh, I'm sorry, but we have to pivot toward our work week, and won't be able to do that. I wish you had asked earlier; we might have been able to work something out."

Or you could have declined to sit on Saturday but offered to sit on Friday until noon, so they could see some friends and then leave in the afternoon.

You present the offer of a hotel as a kindness of sorts, but it really was a tacit invitation for your in-laws to leave, and they took the hint.

You have definitely established yourself as someone who is not to be trifled with. If that was your goal, you have achieved it.

Dear Amy: My daughter recently got engaged and is planning her wedding. Her future in-laws have recently divorced and are not really speaking.

We have no relatives in this country, so it's just the three of us. They come from a large European background with many distant and local relatives.

We are supporting whatever they want (and they are doing their homework).

Both families will be pitching in, and the future father-in-law is happy letting them make their choices.

However, the groom's mother wants a spreadsheet with comparisons of what they have already investigated, as well as a day looking at other venues with her son. She has decided that since they have the larger family, they should have the say.

The groom is trying hard to manage the middle ground, but it is creating a huge void, and I fear losing loving relationships going forward.

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