ArcaMax

-- Bereft

Dear Bereft: "Betsy" seems to believe that she needs to choose between you and her husband, and I assume you hope this is not the case, because adults should have the freedom to maintain whatever healthy friendships they possess without their partner's participation. However, are you boxing her in?

I would urge you to consider and accept that the guy just doesn't like you -- and unless you can take responsibility for a specific incident or attitude that might have contributed to this dynamic ... so what? It's on him. (If I refused to be in the company of people who don't like me, I'd never leave the house.)

Leaving the scene in tears demonstrates a level of sensitivity toward this man's behavior that he probably doesn't deserve.

The ability to be in peaceful proximity to people who don't like us is one mark of mature adulthood. It is something for you to work on.

Dear Amy: Having just laid to rest the last member of the generations before me, I am more aware than ever of my own mortality.

I currently have items in a memorabilia box that remind me of times in my youth. These things are all a part of who I became.

When I die I don't want my children going through my things and wondering why I kept pictures of (and love letters from) boyfriends from my teenage years.

Is it time to shred, pitch, or burn them? Is there a right time or right way to say goodbye to memories from the past? They still make me smile, but I don't want my children to deal with them when I'm gone.

I also have love letters that my father wrote to my mother during and after WWII. It makes me smile to see how much he loved her. I can't bear to throw away those letters, but it doesn't seem right to burden generation after generation with letters written by people they didn't know or barely knew.

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