Wife struggles to regain trust after betrayal
There seems to be a societal expectation that everyone who dies has a memorial service.
I have no religious need for a service. If anyone feels a need to say goodbye after my death, they could do so privately, or add a five-minute sidebar to the next gathering planned for some other (presumably happier) purpose.
I would simply put in my obituary that the family will celebrate my life privately.
My wife Is OK with whatever I wish. Your thoughts?
-- Planning Grand Exit
Dear Planning: I think we've all heard or read about people who have large celebratory parties before their deaths. You seem like the perfect person to plan your own end-of-life (not after-death) celebration.
Otherwise, yes, I'm with you. If you don't want a memorial service, then make your wishes known.
Dear Amy: I actually wept at your compassionate response to "Don't Know How to Let Go," from the alcoholic mother (in recovery) who wanted to reunite with her estranged daughter.
Thank you for seeing through her question and focusing on the daughter's needs and hurts. I was so moved by it.
-- Admiring
Dear Admiring: Well, I've been there.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
