Sister dynamic could be about birth order
-- Youngest Of Three
Dear Youngest: One of the most challenging aspects of the sibling relationship is the struggle to cope with a less-than-ideal dynamic. We all have this idea that siblings should be best friends, but it often doesn't work out that way.
The fact is, you and your sister were NOT raised in the same household with the same parents. By the time you came along, your parents were eight years older and had two other children. There is a high likelihood that your parents raised you very differently than their older children.
It's also likely that your older sister actually had a hand in helping to raise you. She just didn't get the memo that it's time to stop.
I interpret some of the behavior you describe as stereotypical "oldest child" stuff. She can't respect you as an adult because in her mind, you'll always be the baby of the family. Passing judgment on you is the purview of the bossy eldest.
Insight into the dynamic created by birth order will NOT help you to get along better with your sister -- but it may help you to see some of her behavior in a new way. This insight should help you to cope.
Read: "The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are," by Kevin Leman (2015, Revell). Dr. Leman's book is a great first look into the fascinating topic of birth order.
Dear Amy: Is it appropriate for my wife to look up ex-boyfriends on Facebook? And am I wrong to ask her to stop?
When I asked her to stop doing this, she said, "I will not stop. I would not cheat."
I find it disrespectful that she is doing this. I also think her response is disrespectful.
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