Sexting situation unsettles spouse
Dear Been There: Sometimes people hosting destination weddings are being thoughtless regarding the burden these events place on their guests.
But sometimes, couples hosting destination weddings are doing so deliberately, to keep their guest lists small and to escape challenging dynamics with some family members who they know either won't want to -- or won't be able to -- travel for the wedding.
Do you think this is selfish? (Sometimes it is.) But remember that this is their party. It reflects their values. Yes, covering some of the costs of some of the guests would be thoughtful and generous. Some couples do this.
But here's a PSA for wedding guests: If it will break the bank for you to attend a destination wedding, you should not go.
Dear Amy: As a hair stylist, I speak with dozens of amazing young women every week. Some want kids, but many don't.
What's disheartening is how many confide in me that, while they don't want kids for one reason or another, they feel pressured to do so by some external force. A common reason is, "My parents want grandkids," but I also hear "My sister wants her kids to have cousins."
Often they worry their significant other will leave them if they don't have kids. As a professional, I don't feel I should weigh in, but these women need to follow their gut!
Pressuring someone to have kids is wrong. Wanting to make someone else happy is not a good enough reason to have kids. You should do it because you WANT to raise children.
I'm hoping you'll run this as heartfelt advice to women: You don't have to have kids if you don't want to. Please, do what makes you happy. You're not obligated to please others.
-- Pressured Parenthood
Dear Pressured: Absolutely! Thank you for offering your perspective.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
