Unsolicited advice meets resistance
Dear Amy: My sister-in-law can be a warm, loving person, but she frequently comes across as controlling and hypercritical. Every time I host a dinner party or invite her to spend a weekend at our vacation home, she tells me how to improve my cooking, rearrange the furniture, manage my health issues, etc.
She thinks she's dispensing valuable insights, but her comments are often tactless and insulting.
I have tried to ignore or downplay her critiques, but if I don't respond with sufficient enthusiasm, she becomes confrontational ("I'm sensing resistance...") and demands an explanation.
The worst part is that she makes snarky remarks about our 18-year-old.
Her response to his prom photo was: "No smile, looking dire as usual."
He has chosen not to have a relationship with her.
My husband (her brother) alternates between shutting her out and engaging in intense verbal battles that accomplish nothing.
Subtlety doesn't work, but neither does direct confrontation.
How can I get her to stop with the constant criticism and snarkiness, which is pushing all of us away?
-- Ready to Blow
...continued
