ArcaMax

Dear Ready: Your sister-in-law seems to feel that her insights are golden, and given what I perceive as her arrogance regarding her own behavior, it's unlikely that you will get her to stop.

I'm not sure why you would invite someone to spend an entire weekend with you when that person isn't -- at the very least -- a gracious guest.

I suggest that you evaluate and possibly accept the comments that might be, in fact, valuable insights -- and verbally reject those which are passive swipes, demeaning or flat-out mean.

Honestly, "I'm sensing resistance..." doesn't sound confrontational (to me). One response to that might be: "Yep, I'm definitely resisting."

At some point, you should try to communicate honestly about your own experience being in a relationship with her: "I see you as a warm and loving person, but I find many of your suggestions, unsolicited advice and criticisms hard to take. It's just ... too much for me. I hope you can accept this feedback."

You'll see if she can absorb a gentle, respectful critique of her own behavior. She might turn this back onto you -- as evidence of a character flaw.

And yes, her behavior will affect your desire to spend time with her, as it should.

Dear Amy: My husband and I (second marriage for both of us) were married for a handful of years before he passed away from a terminal illness.

His family, including his grown daughters and his brother, has completely shut me out since his death.

His daughters hosted a fundraiser in his honor, and didn't even tell me about it.

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