Smart home turns husband into Big Brother
-- Fed Up
Dear Fed Up: If an invitation alone obligated a person to provide a gift, then we'd all receive a lot more disingenuous invitations.
If you don't attend a shower, you are not obligated to send a gift (although some people choose to send gifts, regardless).
I agree with you about consumer culture and gender roles. However, when you give a gift at a shower, it is intended as a gift for both parties (and not all showers are cis-gendered affairs). I also don't think it is up to you to decide whether a couple "needs" dish towels or a blender. Attend with an open mind, or don't attend.
Some marrying couples are getting creative about showers; for couples who are already well-equipped with traditional shower-type gifts, I love the idea of a "charity shower," where guests are encouraged to bring food, toiletries, school backpacks to fill, or cash, for a charity of the couple's choosing.
Dear Amy: "Mutt Mama" had adopted an aggressive dog, and wanted advice about how to keep others away.
A yellow ribbon or scarf prominently tied on a leash or collar is a clear and easily recognized signal that this dog is NOT friendly and DO NOT APPROACH.
It would also give Mama a chance to educate others who may not have learned that lesson.
Kudos to Mama for taking on the pet that might not have been adoptable.
-- Dog Lover
Dear Dog Lover: Several people pointed out that a yellow scarf or ribbon should be recognized by other dog owners as a signal to give a wide berth. Thank you.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
