Mom corrals daughter into real estate
Dear Amy: I recently lost my husband after 31 years of marriage. He was 54 years old.
I am back to work, and trying to keep things together.
I know friends and co-workers truly care about how I am doing, however, every day I am asked, "How are you?" Many days I'm not good.
I have no desire to share how I'm really doing with casual co-workers.
In all honesty, I would like to wear a sign saying, "Please, don't ask how I am." Any suggestions for how to avoid these questions?
-- Please Don't Ask
Dear Please Don't Ask: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can understand why you don't want to engage in what for you is a very loaded question, especially at work.
Please remember, however, that for many, "How are you" is a pedestrian greeting, along the lines of "Hey, how's it going?"
Trying to answer truthfully opens up a conversation you aren't ready to have with your co-workers, so go ahead and paint your truth with a broad brush. Say, "Oh, I'm hanging in there. How are you?"
Dear Amy: "Still Working" was retirement age but was annoyed when people asked her if she was still working.
I went back to work 15 months ago. I'm currently 68.
When I get asked, "Are you still working?" I say, "I get full benefits, 401k, pension plan and medical. Wouldn't you still work?"
-- Problem Solved
Dear Problem Solved: As I responded to "Still Working," asking this question of someone in the retirement-zone shouldn't be seen as a huge affront.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
