ArcaMax

-- Ditched Daughter

Dear Ditched: You are not creating conflict. Stating your own wishes with an open attitude is not provocative behavior.

One good reason to put your feelings into writing is because doing so will give you the opportunity to say exactly what is on your mind and heart, without the sometimes confusing dynamic of a verbal interaction. You will also have the chance to re-read your missive before sending it to make sure that what you are writing is accurate and respectful, and (hopefully) inspiring a response.

When writing, you will also have a record of exactly what you said.

I suggest keeping your note short and simple, addressing it to both your father and his wife, and sending it via email (if possible) to both of them.

Here is a sample: Dear Dad and Charlotte: I've tried to communicate this in various ways over the years, but I want you to know that Brad and I are eager to have more contact with you, especially now that we have our wonderful son in our lives. Our boy makes us want to get a fresh start and have the very best relationships possible -- for all of our sakes. If there are things we can do differently to help make this happen, I hope you will let us know, but for now I hope you understand that we want to have a renewed and positive relationship. We go to the park on Saturdays. Can you join us next Saturday? I'll bring some coffee."

Attach a photo of your cutie.

I hope you understand that it is not actually in your power to fix this. I give you a lot of credit for trying.

Dear Amy: Is it appropriate for me (67-year-old divorced male) to join a senior dating site in order to seek a partner for purposes of managing my affairs and estate when I become too old to do it myself?

I've got no friends or family who are capable of doing this.

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