ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I moved to a new state for my husband's job a few months ago.

I was lucky enough to find a job in my field, but I'm miserable at work (both because of the job itself and because of the people I work with), and it's bleeding over into our home life.

I know you're supposed to explore a new city and find exciting things to do, but nothing interests me enough to want to deal with the traffic and crowds. I'm trying to join groups to meet people, but no luck so far.

I can't stop thinking that the best part of my life is already over, and it's downhill from here. I went to see the behavioral health provider at my doctor's office, but she just recommended some meditation, and it's not helping.

My husband is trying to be supportive, but he sees this new city as "objectively better" than the previous one and keeps reminding me that other people would be happy to be here and to have my job.

How long should I try to stick this out for my husband before pulling the plug and looking for jobs somewhere else? He doesn't want to move again, but said he'll do it if I can't be happy here.

-- Unhappily New to Town

Dear Unhappily: You mention "pulling the plug and looking for jobs somewhere else," but it seems most logical that you should start your effort toward change by pulling the plug and looking for a new job where you are.

It is extremely challenging to embrace a new place and new people if you spend roughly 40 hours a week miserable at work.

Meditation can certainly help you to cope with stress, but it won't help you to solve your happiness problem.

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