Life Advice

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Older woman thinks she is a Mrs. Robinson

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Mrs. Robinson: You are not, actually, "Mrs. Robinson." The fictional Mrs. Robinson (the character from the book/movie "The Graduate") was a middle-aged woman having an affair with a naive 21-year-old man -- and the affair commenced after she had basically hunted and sexually harassed him, in the guise of "seducing" him.

Your guy is almost 30 years old. Thirty-year-old adults should be able to engage in whatever healthy, non-exploitative relationships they want. So should 53-year-olds. I fail to see what is "horrifying" about your choice to date this man. If the ages were the same but the genders reversed, your pals would be congratulating you.

Your guy has been honest with you about his longer-term goals. It sounds as if he is engaging in this relationship, having already declared an exit plan. Perhaps this is what your friends are really responding to.

It is tough to dive fully into a relationship, knowing it has an end-date. You may be trying now to protect yourself from the inevitable -- and this is bound to affect the dynamic between you two.

But there is something unique and lovely about later-life love, and I certainly hope you can enjoy yourself without worrying too much about how others react.

Dear Amy: I am so distraught. It has been almost two years since our daughter-in-law stopped speaking to us or attending any family events.

 

I honestly am not sure why. Our son (her husband) has had substance abuse issues and has been in treatment and in AA.

Right now, he seems to be doing fine, and he does come out to visit us on Mother's Day and Father's Day, etc., but he comes alone.

I can only imagine that she somehow blames us for his issues. This exclusion on her part has also been extended to our other two sons.

This breaks my heart every day. I don't want to pressure our son, as I know that battling his addiction issues is a daily struggle.

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