ArcaMax

The young man who wants to marry your daughter has respected your authority to the point where he followed tradition and sought your permission to marry her.

This is sweet and laudable. He is certainly doing his best to please you.

You have responded to his gesture by speculating about his relationship with his mother. Furthermore, while you criticize him for being a "mama's boy," (a fairly gross pejorative, by the way), you are seeking to dominate him by conveying that he must not be dominated by his mother, but instead be (in some sense) subservient to your daughter.

I completely agree with you that in marriage, both parties should prioritize the marriage as the central relationship in their lives. This can be a rough adjustment for some people, as their other relationships shift and change.

You don't seem to have met his mother. She raised a loving and lovely man.

The key to forging a positive mother-in-law relationship is to never weigh in unless you are expressly asked. And even if you are asked, you should be extremely circumspect.

Dear Amy: Ten years ago a man and his wife purchased the house across the street from us. The former owners had built a huge garage to store their 40-foot motorhome, and the new owner now operates a truck and equipment repair facility out of this garage.

I think every landscape company in my county does cash business with this guy. There is constant traffic, hammering, welding, etc., in what used to be a quiet, family-oriented neighborhood.

I don't think the owner speaks English, and I can't clearly communicate with him. I've had enough of the constant din. I'm pretty sure it's illegal. I've called the police. They say to talk to the city zoning department, which does nothing.

Amy, I don't want to be the bad guy and make legal troubles for this man. But he just doesn't get it (or doesn't want to). His illegal repair business is a constant source of irritation and disturbance. Any ideas -- besides moving?

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