Forget 'tidying up,' and do some death cleaning
Dear Amy: My 37-year-old partner has a number of juvenile behaviors that are wearing on me after our seven years as a couple.
He has poor hygiene, which affects my physical attraction toward him.
He has never contributed fairly to our finances. He says he's just "bad with money" or "not conforming to capitalism," despite my efforts to convey how important it is to me.
He rarely takes the initiative to do almost anything that would benefit our partnership without prompting.
Despite all my frustration with his regressive behaviors, I still love him for his other great qualities. I haven't been willing to let something that I consider to be petty and easily fixed destroy our relationship.
I've spoken with him several times about these things. I've been both gentle and angry. Nothing ever seems to improve in a lasting way. I also resent feeling like it's my job to manage him and our household.
Is there any way to help a grown man grow up? Or am I naive to keep thinking I can teach this old dog any new tricks?
-- Adulting
Dear Adulting: This man was 30 when you first got together. Presumably, he was like this when you two first met.
Seven years later, you are still trying to figure out how to inspire (or incentivize) him to do something as simple, basic, and self-affirming -- as bathe!
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