Introvert seeks quiet in a noisy world
-- Office Mate
Dear Mate: Ultimately, you might not have to worry about artfully dodging this invitation, because I think there is a high likelihood that your boss will choose to get married without you and your colleagues being present.
It is professionally very awkward for a boss to invite employees to an expensive destination wedding. An invitation puts you and your colleagues in a tough spot -- for the very reasons you cite in your question.
If you do receive an invitation, you should respond promptly and say, "Thank you so much for the invitation. I'm honored to be included. Unfortunately, I'm sorry I won't be able to attend, due to a conflict. I hope you have a really wonderful day."
(The conflict in this instance would be defined as: "I don't like weddings, and this causes me to feel conflicted.")
It would be thoughtful for you all to get together as a group and perhaps purchase a gift -- as a collective gift from all of you.
Dear Amy: I read the question from "Sober" with interest. It can be challenging to be a recovering alcoholic out in the world and surrounded by people who drink. I don't explain myself, anymore. When offered a drink, I just ask for water.
-- Sober, Too
Dear Sober: Seltzer is the new martini. Good for you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
