ArcaMax

Dear Exhausted: I hope you have read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," the important and groundbreaking work on introversion by Susan Cain (2013, Broadway Books). Carry it with you.

You already understand that taking care of yourself in this regard is absolutely vital. If you don't -- you, your work and your relationships will suffer.

When you use a ride-share car, you can start out by saying, "Thanks -- but I'd like to sit here quietly." When you are interrupted during break-time, you can say, "Hey, I'm just going to hang here, close my eyes and recharge my batteries." Wearing earphones and carrying a book might help.

You'll have to assertively train people, giving very obvious cues. And because you are sweet, kind and well-liked, people will learn to respect your needs.

Dear Amy: I work in a very small (less than 10 people) professional office.

One of the bosses will be getting married and the wedding invitations to the out-of-town, very fancy venue will be mailed out shortly.

She (the boss) has been very discreet, and no one is supposed to know of the wedding. The majority of us did not even know that she had a boyfriend, much less a fiance. I was tipped off by someone who happened to know.

I truly dislike going to weddings and for the most part, avoid them entirely. While I feel close to the boss, other than the obligatory office holiday parties, I do not socialize outside of work.

I imagine that once the invitations are sent, I will immediately be asked at work if I will be attending. I prefer to not attend. I don't want to make lame excuses, but my usual, "I'm so sorry that I won't be able to attend," might be construed as rude. Lastly, this is a very well-paid professional, and I feel somewhat obligated to send a wedding gift.

Any suggestions on how to respond?

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