Son on the take spews hate on his prosperous parents
Dear Amy: I have a wonderful, generous mother-in-law. Regretfully most of her gift choices are unusable (e.g., a blender, although we have a functioning one, and a suitcase, although we already have four!).
The tags are always removed and there is never a gift receipt. My husband feels that his mother would be hurt to know the gifts were unneeded.
This has all of us lying when we're asked how much we love the latest present. We simply store goods for as long as reasonable and then donate them, unused.
This Christmas the present was quite expensive and I feel terrible. Should we be frank and put an end to the pattern?
-- Gift Horse
Dear Gift Horse: You could use the newer gift and donate your old one. Otherwise, say, "We love your gift, but I'm a little embarrassed because we already have one. Would you mind if we tried to exchange the one you gave us? You're so generous -- I'll wait for your direction on what we might do."
Next year you might give her a heads up: "I don't know if you're looking for ideas, but I'm really hoping for some gardening supplies this year ... hint, hint."
Dear Amy: "Left Behind" was struggling with how to describe the loss of a child.
My daughter died too young, 15 years ago. I actually had someone say to me, "It's been 15 years. You should be over it by now!"
I'll never be over it.
-- Grieving
Dear Grieving: When you lose a child, you don't get over it. If you're lucky, you eventually adjust to a new normal.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
