ArcaMax

Friends and neighbors are concerned about her, but she won't listen to anyone and thinks everything is fine.

Should I intervene? How? Should I just see if she can muddle through until something bad happens that makes it impossible for her to live in the house anymore?

Talking to her doesn't work. My only option is to possibly force a change, but I don't know if that's possible, or even the right thing to do.

Any advice on this would be appreciated!

-- Worried Daughter

Dear Daughter: You and your siblings should trade off traveling to see your mother on the weekends. I gather that you have at least two siblings, and so this would involve a once-a-month commitment to spend time with her in the house.

Sign her up for Meals on Wheels. Meet the freelancers, communicate with the neighbors and thank them for their help so far.

Take a look in her fridge and around the house. Ask if she would like you to take on her bill paying.

This is a process of increasing involvement, rather than a seizing of control. Her local Office on Aging will be a great resource for information and assistance.

Dear Amy: Regarding "Appalled and Concerned," I cannot believe that you actually suggested that a toddler could be left alone and given melatonin while her mother went out partying! This is so dangerous -- what were you thinking?

-- Horrified

Dear Horrified: According to the question, this toddler was not being left alone -- there were others present in the household. A pediatrician noted that melatonin is basically non-toxic, but neither of us is suggesting that parents use it, or that this was a good situation for the child.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)