Parents disagree on being called by their first names
A few people remarked that they have been through phases of calling their parents by their first names, and all said it was because they were rebelling -- or had lost respect for their parents.
One respondent noted: "I did with my parents once I started attending boarding school in the early '90s. Only later did I realize I did this out of contempt for my parents, and no longer do it. I would not be happy now if my sons called me by my first name."
Teenagers sometimes enter a phase of calling their folks by their first names, and often do so when referring to their parents (to their peers) i.e.: "George and Martha are really on my case."
The only time parents seem to feel OK about being addressed by their first names is when they are in a crowd, and where "Mom" or "Dad" might get lost in the shuffle. (In those circumstances, my own daughter will call out, "Amy Dickinson!," and it always makes me laugh.)
Mainly, parents interpret their children calling them by their first names as a sign of disrespect, or as a denial of the parental relationship.
Another respondent reported a twist: "My mother invited me and my sister to call her (by her first name) when we turned 18 (in the '80s). I mostly called her that until her death. She hoped it would signify that we were friends and equals. For me it was an acknowledgement that she didn't want to nurture."
Dear Amy: I have struggled with lifelong dietary issues and food allergies, and at 25 have finally come to a place where I feel safe eating what I can, though my menu is very restricted. I prepare all my own food and bring my own meals to work, social events or anywhere food will be served.
People peer strangely at my food, always ask what "diet" I'm on, what I'm eating and why.
I'm sure they are expressing innocent curiosity, but I am so sick of explaining myself when I just want to eat in peace.
If I explain, the reaction is always intense sympathy -- and further questions!
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