Former flame worries about loan repayment
Why you wanted to fund this chase after her former husband is beyond me, but, from the tone of your question, you seem to be someone who is easily manipulated because of your own feelings of inadequacy.
Advocating for yourself is good for your self-esteem; you deserve to be repaid for your generosity and thanked for your kindness. You don't seem to have any ongoing relationship with this woman (she never responds to your nice notes), and so you should not care one way or the other what she thinks of you now.
I realize that I'm telling you how to feel, but I'm really trying to coach you into behaving reasonably and responsibly.
Under no circumstances should you ask this person to perform professional work for your family. I fear that if she were active in your household, she would somehow end up with your house.
Dear Amy: Next month is the one-year anniversary for my boyfriend and me.
Right before Thanksgiving I discovered he was contacting other women, through emails, photos and profiles for dating and hooking up.
He said he was reaching out to other women because he wanted to do things he didn't think I'd be into so rather than talk to me about it he outsourced his intimacy. I decided to stay and try to work it out.
The last few weeks have been raw and intense. I can see he is trying and feels remorseful, but we are far from out of the woods. I still find myself very sensitive and easily triggered.
I don't feel like celebrating a one-year anniversary because it feels tainted by his cheating and dishonesty and I am very disappointed we couldn't even have our honeymoon phase. Am I being petty not wanting to celebrate a one year?
-- Finding My Way
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