This 'friend' is on a break -- with a vengeance
What should I do?
-- Exhausted
Dear Exhausted: My late mother had a blunt (revealing) statement she used to make when she didn't want to do something/lend something/pick up someone's dry cleaning: "Pretend I'm dead."
If you weren't there to be so responsible for your friend, what would happen? She would have to find another way.
You could preserve your energy and the friendship by drawing a firm boundary around what you are willing/able to do. Don't abandon her abruptly, but wean her toward alternatives.
You should pick the appointments you are willing to drive to, and tell your elder friend: "I'm only able to take you to your appointment on the 20th -- no others this month." That's it. She will have to call her family members.
Dear Amy: I was the distant son described in the letter written by "Wayward Dad," the older man who realized he had missed his son's childhood because he was always working.
If I had received a letter like the one you suggested Wayward Dad write, I would have bawled my eyes out and hurried to his side.
Fortunately, my dad and I grew close in my middle years and I was there for him in his declining years and his passing. I wouldn't trade any of that time for anything.
-- Fortunate Son
Dear Son: There is simply no substitute for spending time together.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
