Kids want to nudge their dad toward divorce
Yes, you should communicate with your father. Meet with him privately and tell him everything you say above. Tell him you are aware of his extramarital relationship, and say that you want him to be happy. Say that you will support whatever choice he and your mother make -- and that includes staying together. Be loving and supportive, but don't involve yourself further.
Understand that your parents have created a life together that might not look ideal to you, but which is a consequence of their choices over the years.
Even though you cast your mother as the villain here, if the marriage breaks up, she will likely require -- and probably deserve -- some empathy and understanding from her children.
Dear Amy: My husband has very poor hygiene habits. He brushes his teeth only at the end of the day and showers once a week, in spite of the fact that he exercises daily. Often both his breath and body odor are very unpleasant.
I have been upfront with him on countless occasions, gently explaining both the health benefits, as well as the "social" problem when he is in public. However, if he can't smell the odors, he doesn't believe they exist and that the problem is in my head. I'm only hoping that he and others like him will see this letter and make an effort to improve their hygiene.
-- Nose-Plugged Wife
Dear Nose Plugged: Does your husband like to have sex? Does he want a morning kiss from you? Does he want to spend time with you in closed quarters?
You have some leverage here, and you should use it. If your husband is able-bodied and there are no obvious impediments to bathing, then he should clean himself every day, whether or not he has body odor, or regardless of whether he can detect it.
Dear Amy: "Still Here" described my exact frustration! Like Still Here, I am in my 30s and single with no children. I have spent literally thousands of dollars celebrating the life choices of my friends and family members, with nothing in return.
It's not like I want total equality here, but honestly, I love your idea of a "singleton shower."
-- Thinking About It
Dear Thinking: Whether or not there are gifts involved, each of us deserves to be celebrated.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
