ArcaMax

You should encourage him to start to see himself as worthy of adult attention and respect. He seems to feel that he must literally purchase love from his children -- and, guess what? He could be wrong! But he will never know the core value of his relationship with his kids until he is brave enough to have these relationships in a more organic way.

If his kids don't "believe" in Christmas, then don't do Christmas.

If he is determined to give gifts -- this year, he should recognize each of his kids in a new way: by contacting them to say that he has made a donation in their honor to a worthwhile charity.

His kids are not a worthwhile charity, but there are plenty out there, and (unlike his children) these organizations would be grateful for his support. He should steel himself for some blowback from this approach. Change is hard.

Dear Amy: I broke up with my ex two months ago. We used to fight a lot and he used to make a lot of excuses to avoid me. We live far away from each other.

During our time together, he communicated with a lot of random girls. I often felt unhappy and cheated.

I called and confronted him, and he said that because we fight a lot, he got bored with me. I was so angry that I ended the call and did not contact him after that at all.

Today, I contacted him via text, asking for his help on a work project.

He replied "Sure." I didn't reply immediately. And in 15 minutes he pinged me asking what help I needed.

I responded after 40 minutes and told him certain topics I needed tips on. He sent me long messages, detailed with suggestions and tips. I thanked him and said goodbye. But then he asked me "Life's good?" and "Everything's fine?"

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