Fallout from man's double life with secret family
First of all, I need to state for the record that I detest the word "gift" used as a verb. I acknowledge its legitimacy, but -- there, I said it. Why "gift" when we can all "give?"
Yes, you should send gifts to these girls. They are a part of your brother's -- and now your -- family. These gifts needn't be elaborate, in fact reciprocal gift cards might be fine -- but I hope you will find a warm way to welcome them into the clan.
Dear Amy: "Upset Ex" was divorced from her husband for 18 years but she reported that he is coming to her now for financial support.
While I agree with all your suggestions to try to help him, I got the sense that she would feel responsible if he were to actually follow through with his suicide threat. That would be the most difficult thing she would have to deal with.
-- Concerned for Upset Ex
Dear Concerned: Yes, his threat is part of the way he manipulates her. Connecting him with a professional social worker would be best for both of them.
========
(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
