New wife worries about hubby's ex connection
What you both must do is find respectful ways to communicate and to engage in behavior that grows and strengthens your young marriage. You owe it to yourselves and, of course, you owe it to your child.
Many ex-spouses find positive ways to maintain a friendship, but if he hasn't successfully emotionally separated from his ex, then she is entangled in your relationship. She is the uninvited guest at your family party. Simply put, both you and your husband need to put one another at the center of your relationship-world.
You will gain insight into marriage's trickier dynamics by reading marriage researcher John Gottman and co-author Nan Silver's classic primer: "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert" (2015, Harmony). Read this on your own and discuss some of these principles with your husband. He should be inspired to read it, too.
Gottman's research reveals that successful couples create indelible relationship imprints, and turn toward one another (not their exes) to tackle life's little and large challenges.
Dear Amy: My neighbor "Sara" and I are not friends, but we are friendly, or so I thought.
We make small talk when we see each other, usually about our kids, our town, etc. Sometimes Sara speaks first, other times it's me.
Sara and I have a few mutual friends on social media, so I sent her a friend request. She ignored it.
Her page is very public and she posts stuff often.
Additionally, she has about 350 FB friends, including other neighbors, teachers, town officials etc., so it's not like she's this extremely private person.
I feel like asking her, "Hey, what gives?"
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